Mi Teléfono No Funciona

(Gardens at La Alhambra in Granada, Spain)

As I lay in bed this morning, hitting snooze for the 4th time, I noticed that my phone wasn't making it's alarm sound, it was making its texting sound. Ponderous, I thought. So I squinted at the screen which proudly said that my current phone bill was 78 euros. That's when my eyes popped right open. Annoyed, I rolled out of bed and started looking for the phone company's phone number. I have made two, count 'em, two phone calls this month and that does not add up to 78 euros. As I was squinting at my contract, trying to read while still adjusting to the sunlight, my phone beeped again, and this text said that my credit card wasn't approved and that my service was about to be cancelled. They must not know about Morning-Gigi or they would have waited until at least noon to throw me these curveballs. I finally found the phone number and was greeted by a chipper, "Buenos días!" It was far too early for Morning-Gigi to have a phone conversation in Spanish, so I responded, "Hablas inglés?" Thankfully, she did, and I told her about the texts. She said to disregard the one about the 78 euro bill, (they seem to send those out just for fun - several of my friends have received them, too) and I told her about how I knew my card has been locked (story of the last month). I asked her if there was a way to switch the payment to a different card and she said yes, I would just need to come down to their office and sign a form.

So I showered, got dressed, and hopped on the metro. I got off at Plaza de España and found the building. I knew that Apelcom was on the fifth floor, so I was looking at the telecom buttons, (none of which were labeled) and trying to figure out whether I was in the right place. Apparently Aplecom's revenue isn't quite enough to have a store-front window. So I was standing there looking confused when a guy pulled open the door and got in the elevator. I hadn't thought to just try the door, so that seemed like a good idea, and I followed his lead. There was a sign pointing me to elevator B down a hallway so I found the elevator and hit five. After a bumpy landing, the doors opened onto a dark hallway of what looked like residential apartments. I was about to turn around and go back downstairs when I saw "Apelcom" written on a sheet of computer paper that was Scotch-taped to one of the doors. The thought crossed my mind that this was the culmination of my conspiracy theory and that I was going to be kidnapped right then and there, but I didn't want my phone to stop working, so I took my chances.

I rang the bell, (which was so loud that I jumped) and a lady opened the door. "Estás abierto?" I asked. She said yes so I walked in. There were two or three desks in a room filled with stacks of paper and file cabinets. The place was a mess and I could see why they keep sending everyone incorrect texts. I assumed this was the woman to whom I had spoken on the phone, as there was only one other guy in the room who seemed to be playing games on his IPhone - which is not an Apelcom product, I might add. I told her I needed to change the card on my account and she gave me the form to sign. I changed it to Mom's credit card, which is the only working card I have right now, (sorry if you read this before I call you tonight, Mom) and then walked back out into the scary hallway and took the scary elevator back downstairs.

I wanted to buy some postcards and I was in a pretty touristy area, but unfortunately, there were none to be found. I went back to the metro and decided to head to Sol, where I knew there would be a ton of them. But my subconscious must have been thinking otherwise, because after a few stops, I noticed I was on the line that goes back to Julia's and not on the line to Sol at all. Funny how that happens.

So I got off at Julia's and broke out the homework. Julia was out somewhere and Baquita came in at 2 and asked me if I wanted lunch because she wasn't sure when Julia was coming back. I said sure and had just finished eating when Julia walks in. She wasn't pleased.

Julia: "I will call if I'm not going to be back for dinner."

Me: "Oh, okay. I'm sorry I ate. I was hungry and not sure when you were coming back."

Julia: "2:30." (thanks for the heads up)

So I just worked on homework all day until Julia called me for dinner. I was having fish - a whole fish. I have no idea how to go about eating a whole fish, so I was pretty certain I was going to endure some critiquing during this meal. So before starting, I asked her what was the proper way to eat a fish like this, and she just did it for me. Quite the process, it turns out. It was a good thing I asked or I would have been picking at the trout bones for the next hour. She mentioned during dinner that her late husband's parents live in NYC, and are bigwigs for GM. I didn't ask how big of bigwigs they are, but she knew the CEO's name off the top of her head, so I'm thinking big enough.

She then went to get something from the living room for me, which turned out to be an advertisement to see Tommy Hilfiger at a promotion in Corte Inglés next week. I'm definitely going. This line of promotions must be the reason why I saw Claudia Schiffer there yesterday (turns out she's pretty famous - I did my research). And I will bring my camera.

Off to El Escorial and El Valle de Los Caídos tomorrow!